Dearly Beloved
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Saturday, February 2, 2008
As tears filled my eyes, shame filled my heart.
I bottle up my feelings so no one really is aware of anything. I hide my feelings well. I don't show it. So, seriously, it's my own fault that I'm not getting any sympathy from anyone right now. I amaze myself at how well I'm able to keep all the anger and frustration inside and still be real happy and jumpy on the outside. I don't know how I do it really. There's always a part in me that always wants to pour everything out, but there's this other part that just wants to suffer alone. Suffering alone. I've always done that. As much as it sounds horrible, I actually like it better when I'm handling my own problems. Telling others would be too much of a hassle. It's not like they can help. Truthfully, they can't. They say they can, with so much confidence, but deep down, they're asking themselves what the hell it is that they can do to make it better. Nothing. I know cause I ask myself the same thing.  i need my 'antidotes' :(There's so much that I want to say to you guys, but I don't even know how to put into words, and I don't know where to start. Its just that I fucking miss you guys ALOT. I'd rather be all alone, than having a friend like you, making me feel like an outcast. |
